Hazing in your chapter…how to react by Ben Dickinson, Alumni Advisory Council President, FAU-Sigma Phi Epsilon

Your chapter is hazing, what’s your excuse for letting it go? When hazing occurs in your chapter, it often starts as something small, harmless even, which is why it’s ignored. I’ve been there, I understand. This harmless hazing, carrying books, “teambuilding activities,” silly errands, they can go on for years, with no one stopping the cycle, it becomes chapter culture. But someone will push the envelope, eventually. It may not be while you’re in the chapter, but it will happen eventually. Every story you hear of a kid dying or ending up in the hospital from hazing, they all start with the same pattern. “It was harmless fun.” “We never meant to hurt anyone.” Every single time you allow an activity like that to go on, you are contributing to hazing and the eventual demise of your chapter.

Being a sheep is no way to go through life. You’ll find your college experience much more rewarding by standing up and driving your organization in the right direction. It may not be the most popular move at the time, but you’ll eventually look back and be proud of what you did. The first step is to make an effort to change your organizations culture. Every greek org has a set of values that are the foundation of the fraternity/sorority and somewhere in your national bylaws there is a mention of empowerment or ownership that coincides with the responsibility of every member to prevent activities detrimental to the chapter. When you know that these activities are happening you are just as guilty as the hazers and by not saying a thing, you’ll most likely also get named in the law suit brought against your chapter when someone gets hurt.

My suggestion, is simple. Create a “no BS” rule in your organization. Have everyone in your chapter agree to step up and say something for the betterment of the fraternity/sorority if something is happening that does not align with the values of the chapter…your values! This rule provides everyone with the ability to step up and stop an activity that is not right. There is that voice in the back of your head that chimes in every time you participate in a hazing activity, you know you hear it. Use this new policy to step in and stop the behavior. You do not want to go down the road of chapter suspensions, membership reviews, lawsuits, and dead or injured friends.

I have not come across a greek organization that doesn’t claim to recruit leaders, independent thinkers and the “best.” I hope you look at yourself and feel that you fit those criteria, but if you’re not stopping the hazing going on in your chapter, you’re not living up to your ideals, you’re just another sheep.

Hazing isn’t only a Men’s Issue by Lorin Philips, Sigma Sigma Sigma

 

College age women are constantly looking for a list of what they cannot do in order to rationalize that what is not on the list must be allowed; however, listing very specific hazing incidents is not a successful way to combat hazing. 

In 1984 Dr. Debbie Shaw, then Fraternity/Sorority Advisor at Auburn University defended her PhD thesis entitled Women Don’t Haze or Do They?  Her research involved campuses and sorority women across the USA.  The overriding premise of her research was that in order to prevent hazing among females that the methods, training and communication must be designed specifically for the female thinking.   So what do we know about women that might help us combat hazing?

One concept to explore might be Girl Power! A researched based book called, The Secret Lives of Girls says that women who are perceived as “good girls” will find secret ways to dominate others.  The domination is a way of releasing those feelings of “being bad” which have been oppressed by the simple concept of “good girls don’t do that”. Because of this, women often experience a disconnect between their actions and being able to comprehend the consequences - an internal struggle if you will. I’m a good girl therefore my actions could not have been hazing…good girls don’t do that.

CHALLENGE TO YOU: become aware of how many times you might hear someone discipline a young girl with “good girls don’t do that” compared to perhaps “ah he is just being a boy…it is fine!” Have you ever heard someone say these things? It is conditioning for women – obedience equals power. Let’s consider some possible connections here to hazing….

·        Women who are being hazed listen (or take it as the case may be) because they are good girls….being obedient will be rewarded. The reward may be membership or perhaps it is respect.

·        Women are hazing the new members to SEE if they are obedient…testing to see perhaps IF she is good member/teammate. If she follows traditions and she is obedient, then she’s good. Defiance = trouble maker, she isn’t here for the good of the whole.

Consider for a moment some ways we might reinforce this concept of Girl Power  which is gained through obedience… do we ever give some additional latitude to those women who are leaders, academically successful, award or scholarship winners? Do we cut them a break when they get into a little trouble? Obedience is Power.

What about the group or team who is winning awards, does lots of service, is active in the community, academically driven, good relationships, etc? If that group is investigated – do we ever say they are a good group, this just isn’t like them, they must have made a mistake? Obedience and Power. 

Food for thought here on women and power. What do you think?

Hazing is morally wrong because it has the potential to hurt. It’s just that simple. By TJ Sullivan

My son will be going to college in less than two years.  He is in his junior year of high school, and we are working on our list of potential colleges.

When he arrives, he will be eager to fit in at the small, private college he chooses.  There, he will want to find friends, make a place for himself, and find his family away from home.  He will likely join some campus organizations, quite possibly a fraternity since his dad has been so involved in fraternity life.
And it scares the hell out of me.  There’s a part of me that sincerely hopes he doesn’t join a fraternity. I worry that he will be hazed.

See, here’s how it could go…

Some sophomore in his fraternity who has been elected “pledge educator” will firmly believe that he understands the best way to build unity in his chapter.  In his mind, the harmless activities they do – which might include yelling, alcohol, embarrassment, servitude activities – are part of the fraternity’s tradition.  They build character, he thinks.  Break the pledges down so we can build them back up as brothers, the reasoning goes.

Because, after all, who knows better the mechanics of building character than some 19-year-old pledge educator?  Clearly, by this fraternity’s way of thinking, my son’s parents did not do a good enough job of that.

What this young man won’t know is my son’s history.  He won’t know about his abusive birth father who beat his mother in front of him.  He won’t know about the birth father’s sexual abuse of his sister in the room next to his.  All this naive pledge educator will see is my son’s pleasant demeanor, confident smile, and smart mouth.  He won’t see what lies much deeper inside.

The pledge educator won’t know how my son responds to frustration or humiliation.  Why should he?
Because my son places a high value on being “one of the guys,” he will go along with it. He won’t want to wimp out. His desire to belong will overrule his better thinking.  He’s a teenager, after all.
I have no idea how that fraternity’s silliness might affect my son.  It is entirely possible that a bunch of stupid activities meant to bring my son into their fraternity will actually drive him to a pretty dark place.  If they humiliate him in some way, he won’t respond well. It’s enough to scare a father to death.
There are hundreds of reasons why hazing is wrong.  I’ll let others talk about how it goes against the values of your campus organization, or how it actually tears at the cohesiveness of a group. I don’t care to recite the anti-hazing laws or the national policies of your organizations. Those are all fine and valid reasons not to haze. They should be enough.

But, my reason is more personal.  I do not think that the average college student organizing “silly” activities that qualify as hazing has any idea of the harm he could be inflicting on a young man or woman he is hazing. Unknowingly, he could be doing deep psychological damage.  Even to just one kid.  And, that’s morally wrong in my mind. Inflicting harm on another person, intentionally or not, is abhorrent.
There are thousands of good kids out there searching for a place to belong on their college campus.  You can’t tell from looking at them, but they’ve been through a lot.  Some, like my son, spent years in the foster care system.  Others were abused, or dealt with addictions of their parents.  Some have spent years finding the right balance of medications to keep them productive.  You have no idea what hidden harm lies beneath that kid’s smile.

You have no idea what they are willing to endure to belong.  You have no idea what injuries you are reopening. You have no idea how that kid is going to be affected in the moment you haze, in the weeks that follow, in the years to come.

National Hazing Prevention Week starts today.  I’m proud to have played a role in starting it, and I did that because I worry about my son.  I want him to be able to go to college, make friends, join a group, and be a happy young man.

As a student leader, you have the opportunity right now to stand up on your campus and simply say, “Hazing is wrong.”  Don’t wait for someone to die, or be rushed to the hospital.  Don’t wait for your college or university to crack down. Don’t wait for your national organization to put you on probation. Stand up now and say, “Hazing is wrong.” It’s immoral, and there are better ways.  There are no valid reasons to haze.  Not one.

In 25 years as a fraternity man, I’ve never heard a justification for hazing that is more valid than the importance of treating every person with dignity. Plain and simple. As a fraternity man, I’ve always known this.  As a father, I am 100-percent certain.

If we are able to eradicate hazing, it will be because student leaders like you made it happen.  It has to come from you.